On Peptalks and Blessings.

It was almost midnight, the eve of our pre-wedding shoot. I came home really tired and exhausted. I washed up and was prepared to doze off when I heard my facebook messenger’s notification sound. I reached for my phone and read the message. It says: “Ma’am good evening po. Magpapasalamat lang po ako for everything you have done for me para po makapasa ako sa Ateneo. Salamat po for the recommendation letter and for the advices you’ve imparted during our internship. Di po siguro ako makakapasa sa Ateneo kung di ko po kayo nakilala. Thank you po ulit and God bless po.”

To this date, I still have goosebumps reading this message. It was just a week ago when I signed up as a writer for a religious publication. My first assignment was to write about my recent blessing. I, honestly, took the time to think of a subject. I am being blessed everyday by the Good Lord. But it was hard to write about something that could merit publication. I wanted something different, something with impact. Then this message came. What a beautiful blessing, isn’t it?

Though I wasn’t the direct recipient of God’s graciousness, but in my own simple way, I became an instrument to deliver God’s blessing. I, too, feel so blessed.

The message was from “A”. I met her last summer. She, together with two other interns, came from the same university I went for college. They are even taking the same degree I did and are huge fans of volleyball like I am. They were most of the time silent, timid and just waited for tasks which they accomplished on time.

I admit that it is in my nature to pep talk younger people when I feel like it, especially when they show interest. I know I am not in the best position to inspire and give advice considering how little I have accomplished in life. But this is me. I do not shy away from encouraging people to keep on achieving their dreams and reaching their full potential, even if I, myself, still have a lot of working to do.

I learned and am still learning a lot of things from different people, no matter how simple or irrelevant they seem to be to society. Every encounter, every word matters. When you make sense of all the things in life, you realized that they are all part of one great plan. No idea is too small, no endeavour is too huge.

And yes, I am glad I was being me last summer. When I found out they are considering to pursue law, I did not think twice of encouraging them. Of course I said all the good things about being a lawyer. Bias aside, we all know having the prefix “Atty” to your name means having access to a couple of perks. But I made sure they are aware that regardless of how people see lawyers, law is a noble profession and it does wonders to the world if used properly.

Then came the choice of school. Since two of them are academic scholars, they know they’d have limited choices. But being me, I asked them to just sign up and apply wherever. If they pass, then they make the decision with their families. At least, they know they tried and wouldn’t spend some time thinking about what ifs.

A few months ago, “A” requested for a recommendation letter and informed me that she is taking the entrance exam at my law school. I was ecstatic. Of course I will give her a beautiful recommendation. If anything, I was happy she took the next step and opened herself to possibilities. I was hoping she’ll make it. And as you now know, she actually did.

When she attributed passing the law school’s entrance exam to me, there was indeed quite a beautiful ring to it. I am very grateful that I became part of her recent win in life. The truth, however, is that she passed because she was capable, that was all her. She was meant to pass the exam, the Lord wanted her to be there.

I truly believe that we have limitless possibilities no matter how trying circumstances present themselves to be. We are in the steering wheel and we decide on which direction to take. There may be bumps on the road. We may run out of gas. The night may be too dark. But nothing can make a soul burning with passion and self worth fold in the midst of any tribulation.

And with this recent blessing, I am resigned to the thought that no matter how little we think of ourselves, that should not keep us from trying to be a blessing to others just as the Lord blesses us every day.

Engaged

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When  I was 19, I purchased my college graduation ring together with a pair of silver bond rings. Admittedly, I have always been a hopeless romantic and back then, I swore I will only wear the ring when I have already found the person to whom I will give the other pair to. I prayed to God and promised my self that on the day I turn 24, I will give the ring to the person I know I will someday marry. Long story short, the “bond ring” was my version of the “engagement ring”.

And true enough, the moment I hit 24 in 2011, I gave the ring to Kyle. We started wearing it everyday. It almost feels like my right ring finger is naked without it, it feels weird. We got a lot of questions, people wondered if we were already engaged, some even asked if we’re married. I, personally, shrugged it off. I only shared the story to a few trusted friends because it was something very personal to me. It was my promise to Kyle that someday, at the right time, I will marry him and it’s definitely going to be him.

The funny thing is, despite the fact that I “promised” to marry him, I had a lot of requirements before he can propose. For a time, I felt like I kinda pressured Kyle already into being this and that before he can formally ask my hand for marriage. Hence, it took a few more years before he can summon his guts to drop the question.

I take marriage very seriously. I know exactly what I want for my wedding and I will not compromise most of it. More importantly, I also have a goal for our life after the ceremony. I wanted us to be emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and financially prepared for married life.  I felt like our parents have given us so much that they deserve nothing less than seeing us maturely prepare for our future family. After all, getting married for me is finally telling to the world that we are ready to settle down and be independent.

And so I anxiously waited for that fateful moment. And on 26 April 2014, Kyle, with the help of family and friends, turned an ordinary client meeting into one of the most memorable moments in my life. He knelt on his knee and asked me to be his wife. It was surreal. The proposal was a big success, especially considering that a woman like me who thought I’d feel it when it’ll finally happen, was totally surprised. I was taken aback. For a moment, I was immobile. FINALLY, KYLE AND I ARE ENGAGED. We are getting married.

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I leave the details of the proposal for a later post as soon as the proposal video is ready. For now, suffice it to say that I am very happy to be engaged to no less than the person with whom I have spent almost five beautiful years with. Together, with God’s grace, we will make all our dreams come true. Never have I been this so sure, before 2015 ends, I will officially be Mrs. Christian Enrile Chan.

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