A Decade’s Family Tradition

My father is the eldest in a brood of six. They lived in a quaint barrio in Penablanca, Cagayan. Their house rest on top of a hill in the modest Brgy. Bugatay community. Lolo was a farmer and Lola tends the house. As years passed, their children settled in different places as they began their own families.

In 2004, I was 17, Buboy and JohnJohn were newly born, and Potpot was not yet around. That year, the Annual Martin Family Reunion was conceived. Since then, we all come home to Bugatay every December 25 and be reunited as a family. It’s the time when we share our stories about the year that has been, catch up and celebrate Christmas together.

Our family was the first hosts of the reunion, my father being the eldest. There are lots of food, parlor games and gift giving. Year after year, the host changes chronologically depending on a sibling’s birth. And we’ve seen our family grow since.

Lola left in 2013 and it’s been such a trying year for us. But with how we managed to keep this tradition, I am confident that we can handle anything that may come our way, as a family.  Today, we celebrated the 10th year of our family reunion and I am sure that because of this,  even my children’s children will not lose touch of their pedigree and will always keep in touch with family.

The Siblings (w/ husbands & wives)
The Siblings (w/ husbands & wives)
Me and my cousins
Me and my cousins
Cousins' selfie
Cousins’ selfie

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TP4 and the Grace to help

“Hi Ate, kakalipat lang po namen ng bahay, sa tondo pa din po. Sa JPMorgan po ako nagwowork 3 years na din po. Ate, hindi pa pala kita napapasalamatan for changing my life for the better. Im really glad and thankful that I am one of the luckiest persons to be part of TP4. Kung hindi kayo nagvisit sa school namen before and took the extra step to see our lives baka im not the person I am now. Thank you Ate for helping us and giving us the opportunity to have a better future. I owe this to you and super happy ako that ive met such a wonderful person like you. – Maripet Dy”

I received this on September 30, 2014 at 8:13 PM. It came from one of our Thomasian Project 4 (TP4) Scholars, specifically, from the batch I first handled. I am beyond grateful to be on the receiving end of the above-quoted message. It has been my life’s commitment to genuinely help other people and be one of the many instruments to achieving their dreams. And this message is the answer to a question that has been hounding me for years, “may nagawa at naiwan kaya akong maganda para sa iba?”

TP4 was a project of the UST Central Student Council which aimed to provide less fortunate but able high school students with an opportunity to pursue tertiary education in one of the big universities. Our partner school at that time was Jose Abad Santos High School in Manila.

I remember vividly that moment when I first saw Maripet. She was a frail looking Chinese student who silently sat on a corner while we discussed the details of the program we are offering her class. She went on and passed the qualifying exam as well as the interview, as one of the highest in her batch. But it is the “home visit” that completely convinced me, TP4 exists for students like Maripet.

She lived in a humble space in Tondo with her siblings and her parents. Her father at that time was a 60 year old part time “padyak” driver. Her mother was a housewife. As far as I recall, Maripet is the 2nd eldest in a brood of not less four children. While inside their house, I realized that TP4 can really help Maripet and her family. I knew right there and then, that through our program they can have a better life.

Pursuant to the program, all those who qualified spent their Saturdays in UST as we tutor them for their classes and prepare them for entrance exams. Everyone that we mentored had a special place in my heart but Maripet was different. I was amazed by her discipline and obedience. In fact, she always tops TP4 Batch evaluations. Knowing her circumstances, I had my eyes on her.

Maripet eventually took the entrance exam in UST and passed. She confirmed her slot as a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration Major in Finance Student. I was very happy for her. We helped her get a scholarship and she qualified. I was jubilant! The girl who never really knew what’s ahead of her after high school is finally stepping foot in UST. She will go to college and pursue a collge degree.

That summer, however, I crossed paths with her and it seemed like she is not as excited as I am for her. She just came from the Tan Yankee Student Center, looking so lost and was about to cry. I asked why and was shocked by her answer – she was withdrawing her confirmation.

Maripet reasoned that despite the scholarship, her family cannot afford the other expenses in UST. I completely understood her but I was determined not to let her bag down. I was not going to make her turn away from an opportunity that could spark the big difference in her life. I knew God put me there on that fateful day for a reason. I was there to lift Maripet from an impending fall and secure her from her fears.

It was not easy making her believe again that she can be a Thomasian and she can graduate from the University. I didn’t also know the right words to say as I have never been in her shoes. All I have got was my genuine desire to help and concern for her better future. I asked her to be brave for her family and not be defeated by the circumstances. I asked her to believe in herself.

By some magic, she enrolled that same year and pursued her degree in UST.

I wasn’t sure what made her reconsider. Maybe she listened to me. Maybe I was able to make her trust in her own capacities and believe in her dream once more. Or maybe, I just had in my midst a strong young woman who was willing to brave the odds, take risks and dream big for her family.

But one thing is for sure, I knew Maripet was no push over and that she deserved better. I am pretty sure college was not a walk in the park for her. As a working scholar, she had to be in school way longer than any ordinary student. She struggled financially as expenses for books, projects and uniforms became a staple. But she graduated in 2011 and has been employed by JPMorgan for three years now.

What an inspiration she truly is.

Who would have thought that the daughter of pedicab driver can graduate from UST and be employed by one of the biggest banking and financial companies in the world? That from the tiny space they had before, a frail looking girl can help her family move to a more decent home? That a student who literally had no idea where she’ll find herself after highschool has finally found her life’s direction and is doing good?

Maripet may not have achieved her ultimate dream yet but I am certain that if she maintains the same kind of character she displayed while she was with TP4 and UST, there’s no telling how far she can go.

In her message, she thanked me and TP4 for touching her life. For that, she is most graciously welcomed. But we also have a lot to thank her for. She is a testament to the nobleness of TP4 and the effectiveness of its cause. Maripet proved that with a program like that of TP4, struggling Filipino families will be given an opportunity to improve their lives. Not only will it give less fortunate students the chance to pursue a college education but most importantly, will help in our nation’s long standing battle with poverty.

Lastly, I would like to thank her for giving meaning to my life. Maripet is the living proof that I have done something worthy in this lifetime. I am just human, I have done a lot of unpleasant things but with this realization, I thank the Lord for the grace He has given me to touch Maripet and her family’s life. I am beyond grateful.

“EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU HELP SOMEBODY STAND UP, YOU ARE HELPING HUMANITY RISE” —- Dr. Steve Marabolli

Engaged

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When  I was 19, I purchased my college graduation ring together with a pair of silver bond rings. Admittedly, I have always been a hopeless romantic and back then, I swore I will only wear the ring when I have already found the person to whom I will give the other pair to. I prayed to God and promised my self that on the day I turn 24, I will give the ring to the person I know I will someday marry. Long story short, the “bond ring” was my version of the “engagement ring”.

And true enough, the moment I hit 24 in 2011, I gave the ring to Kyle. We started wearing it everyday. It almost feels like my right ring finger is naked without it, it feels weird. We got a lot of questions, people wondered if we were already engaged, some even asked if we’re married. I, personally, shrugged it off. I only shared the story to a few trusted friends because it was something very personal to me. It was my promise to Kyle that someday, at the right time, I will marry him and it’s definitely going to be him.

The funny thing is, despite the fact that I “promised” to marry him, I had a lot of requirements before he can propose. For a time, I felt like I kinda pressured Kyle already into being this and that before he can formally ask my hand for marriage. Hence, it took a few more years before he can summon his guts to drop the question.

I take marriage very seriously. I know exactly what I want for my wedding and I will not compromise most of it. More importantly, I also have a goal for our life after the ceremony. I wanted us to be emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and financially prepared for married life.  I felt like our parents have given us so much that they deserve nothing less than seeing us maturely prepare for our future family. After all, getting married for me is finally telling to the world that we are ready to settle down and be independent.

And so I anxiously waited for that fateful moment. And on 26 April 2014, Kyle, with the help of family and friends, turned an ordinary client meeting into one of the most memorable moments in my life. He knelt on his knee and asked me to be his wife. It was surreal. The proposal was a big success, especially considering that a woman like me who thought I’d feel it when it’ll finally happen, was totally surprised. I was taken aback. For a moment, I was immobile. FINALLY, KYLE AND I ARE ENGAGED. We are getting married.

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I leave the details of the proposal for a later post as soon as the proposal video is ready. For now, suffice it to say that I am very happy to be engaged to no less than the person with whom I have spent almost five beautiful years with. Together, with God’s grace, we will make all our dreams come true. Never have I been this so sure, before 2015 ends, I will officially be Mrs. Christian Enrile Chan.

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